Category: Uncategorized

“It is not your duty to finish the work, but neither are you at liberty to neglect it.” Pirkei Avot 2:16

So here we go. The last couple of months have been the slow uphill climb towards the start of the worst roller coaster ride ever — we’re strapped in, and it’s too late to get off, and it’s about to get awful.

I know a lot of people are struggling with the question of how much to engage with the awfulness. It’s a real issue — they’re deliberately planning on “shock and awe” — on doing so many terrible things at once that people are overwhelmed and give up. And even before this moment, it’s become increasingly clear that human beings were not evolved to have all the bad things happening in the world present in their pockets 24 hours a day. So you need to manage the emotional load, decide how you’re going to learn about what’s happening in a way that works for you, and when you’re going to turn it off.

But that’s not the same as checking out entirely. Everyone has a role to play in fighting back, in defending the people who are being targeted, in building joyful community, in defending democracy and the rule of law. If we don’t do that, those who are trying to destroy will win without a fight. But it’s not up to any of us to do it single handedly. So, you need to pick the things that you’re going to focus on, and find the other people working on that, and do your best, and trust that other people are doing their best on other things. And listen when they say “hey, we need your backup right now” but also listen to your body and soul when they say “hey, we need some joy and rest so we can come back and work some more.” Easier said than done, but the alternative is complicity.

Democracy2025 is a good place to start to figure out who else is working on the things you care about — if you can’t find what you want, email me and I’ll provide a personal concierge service to help you find the right group for you.

Some other useful writings on thinking about your role in this new world we’re living in:

Anand Giridharadas on finding your “posture” in this world.

The Social Change Ecosystem Map

Julie Philips on Ursula LeGuin, the way of water, and social activism

And LeGuin’s own essay, writen in the wake of the 2016 election.

It’s going to be a bumpy ride — and far worse than that for some. Let me know how I can support you.

From 2004 to 2012 I kept a blog, Half Changed World, where I posted about “work, parenthood, gender, politics, and the rest of life.” It was never a “top tier” blog, and it didn’t make me famous or bring in lots of money. But it brought me in contact with some amazing people, some of whom are still part of my life. It’s hard to describe to folks who weren’t part of that world how amazing it was to be able to sit at the computer and be part of a real community, to wrestle with ideas and post a blog, knowing that people would read it, and post comments, or respond on their blogs. Many of us had small children, and little free time, but blogging let us be a part of an ongoing conversation, like the late night conversations I missed from college, fit into the nooks and crannies of our lives.

Did Facebook kill blogging, or the rise of influencers, or something else? I don’t know. But things move in cycles, and newsletters have become hot. I had a TinyLetter newsletter for a while, but I didn’t keep it up, and I somehow missed the news that they were shutting down, and by the time I went back to try to revive it, my archives were gone, lost forever, as was my subscriber list. A lesson in the value of owning your own content, of POSSE, of writing a newsletter not a “substack“.

At the end of September, I left my job at an organization where I had worked for the past 18 years. Much of what I’ve written in the past decade is available on their website. I’m not sure what’s coming next for me professionally, and I’m no longer in the throes of daily caring for children. But I do know that I still want to be part of conversations about gender and caregiving and what counts as work and what doesn’t, about politics and policy, and money and health and books, and why we are still having these same damn conversations and how does change happen. So here I am.